Friendships

In my recent blogs, I have mentioned friends who can help us with important decisions. This week, I would like to delve deeper into the topic of "friendships." Social relationships and loneliness are two sides of the same coin and essential aspects of our lives that not only significantly influence our decisions but also our well-being and health. In a world that is becoming increasingly connected yet simultaneously more isolated, it is interesting to consider how these two elements impact our lives.

Let's start with the importance of friendships. Scientific studies have shown that strong social bonds not only enhance our emotional well-being but also have significant effects on our physical health. Furthermore, it has been found that people with healthy relationships are less prone to obesity and hypertension. According to a survey, 9% reported having no best friends, 64% have 1-3, and 27% have more than four best friends. Interestingly, another survey found that 20% already consider virtual relationships as true friendships. Therefore, what constitutes a true friendship is a matter of definition. For me, a true friendship means more than just shared interests or regular meetings; it's about a deep connection based on mutual trust, understanding, and support. True friends are those who stand by our side in difficult times and accept us without judgment or reservation.

The question of how many friends one needs and the quality of these friendships varies from person to person. Some people are content with a small circle of close friends, while others prefer a larger network. Friendships are dynamic and change over time. Life circumstances such as moving, career changes, or significant life events can lead to some friendships fading away, while new ones emerge. Statistically, we have a varying number of friends throughout our lives. A study found that every seven years, we lose or replace about half of our closest contacts. These changes are a natural part of life and reflect our evolving needs and priorities. Another study revealed that the number of friends increases until the age of 25, but then rapidly decreases. We shed superficial friendships, deepen relationships with true friends, and hopefully learn that quality is more important than quantity.

The impact of friendships on our development and psyche is immense. Good friends can serve as a mirror through which we better understand ourselves. They provide a source of support, comfort, and joy. Psychological studies have shown that people with strong social bonds have better mental health and are less prone to mental illnesses such as depression. However, friendships are not a cure-all. I believe that one must first be clear with oneself in order to build proper friendships. In today's fast-paced, connected world, I observe many people who have forgotten how to see themselves as complete and need an environment to define themselves. The formula for a good friendship is similar to that of a good relationship. If one has problems with oneself and is afraid to be alone for a short time, one is also not able to build good relationships and friendships. It is important to note that being alone is not the same as being lonely. Being alone offers the opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth. It allows us to be independent and strengthen our self-confidence. Moreover, it can promote creativity and reduce stress. A good relationship with oneself is crucial for the quality of our relationships with others.

As with all extremes, there is a risk of pathological excess with both too much and too little of a good thing. Having too many social contacts can lead to losing oneself over time and becoming a follower. On the other hand, having no social contacts at all can lead to loneliness. A survey showed that temporary loneliness is a widespread phenomenon, but it usually disappears after a few weeks. However, if loneliness persists over a longer period, it can lead to depression or even suicidal thoughts. Therefore, it is important to recognize loneliness early and take steps to overcome it. If you believe you are affected, please seek help, for example, from a counseling service like Telefonseelsorge - Einsamkeit.

Moving away from theory to Matze's practical tips: In summary, both friendships and being alone play important roles in our lives. While friendships support us and bring joy, being alone allows us to better understand ourselves and grow. Both aspects are important for our emotional well-being and personal development. Building good friendships is important, but the most important thing is to be at peace with oneself. As RuPaul said, "If you can't love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?"… stay tuned…

Sources and related links (last visit 27.1.2024):

Business Insider: Studie: Ab diesem Alter beginnt ihr Freunde zu verlieren — und das ist gut

Karriere Bibel: Freundschaft: 9 Merkmale wahrer Freunde

Telefonseelsorge: Einsamkeit – wenn niemand zum Reden da ist

ARDALPHA: So wichtig sind gute Freunde für euer Glück

Marktforschung: Deutsche haben im Schnitt 3,7 enge Freunde

Statista: Wie viele beste Freunde haben Sie aktuell in Ihrem Leben?

Pharmazeutische Zeitung: Gute soziale Beziehungen halten Frauen gesund

Spiegel: Bis 25 finden wir immer mehr Freunde – danach verlieren wir sie

Greator: Einsamkeit überwinden: So gelingt es dir Schritt für Schritt