Self-Confident
a healthy balance
MOTIVATION
Thank you for the many responses to my last blog post. Please keep it up, as it helps me understand the direction in which my blog should develop. First of all: You are absolutely right! Theory and practice are two different things. Why is that? Is life complicated, or do we make it hard for ourselves? This question can only be answered by each individual, but there are ways to make it easier. In this blog, I want to address the topic of self-confidence. Building solid self-confidence is not just a way to more easily say "no," but also important for a more satisfied and successful life.
Self-confidence means having trust in oneself and one's abilities. Like everything in life, there is a healthy and an unhealthy measure. A healthy level of self-confidence means having a realistic self-assessment, but also occasionally doubting oneself. These doubts are normal and make us human and lovable. We can usually judge well whether we can achieve something or not. However, according to statistics, this ideal is rarely constant. In a survey, 85% of people said that they have often doubted themselves without reason in their lives.
Excessive self-confidence is considered narcissism, a pathological personality disorder. Narcissistic people are solely focused on themselves and can be ruthless. They often navigate their lives smoothly and frequently end up in leadership positions. This might be good for the company, but it's bad for the people around them. As with any mental illness, the environment in which these individuals grew up plays a significant role. Narcissism often develops in childhood through a combination of different experiences. Children who are seen as special and irregularly overvalued can develop a distorted self-image. A cold, emotionally distant attitude from parents, neglect, or strong devaluations contribute to this.
Insufficient self-confidence is known as Impostor Syndrome. Those affected believe they don't deserve their success and attribute it to luck or chance. They often fear being exposed as frauds, even though they are actually competent and qualified. They doubt their abilities and achievements and feel like impostors internally, even if they appear successful from the outside. This syndrome can occur in anyone, regardless of profession or social status, and often leads to stress and uncertainty. Impostor Syndrome often arises when people have high expectations of themselves or have experienced very high expectations from others, such as parents or teachers, in the past. Constant comparison with others, especially in social media or professional environments, can also contribute to feeling not good enough. Unfortunately, in the age of social media, the number of people suffering from Impostor Syndrome is steadily increasing. I have seen statistics reporting up to 75% of surveyed people experiencing it.
To strengthen self-confidence and overcome Impostor Syndrome, it's helpful to accept oneself and think positively. Setting small, achievable goals and praising oneself for every success can improve self-image. Remembering past successes and realizing that they were achieved through one's own abilities is beneficial. Regular self-reflection and practicing self-compassion are also important. It's also useful to face new challenges and see that one can do more than one might think. Discussing personal feelings and fears with trusted friends or colleagues can be relieving. Surrounding oneself with supportive and positive people additionally helps to gradually strengthen self-confidence.
Finally, Matze's practical tips again: It was only during my research that I became aware of the connection between self-confidence and mental health. I am convinced that a problem can only be tackled if it is first analyzed and understood. It's amazing how we humans always tend to extremes and a middle ground is more the exception than the rule. Is this our penchant for drama? Definitely :-) ! We don't live in a monastery, so let's be human. A human is a slave to his emotions. It's just important to set boundaries that start when we would harm ourselves or others. It's important to regularly, maybe 2-3 times a week, reflect inwardly, review the past time, and neutrally assess it to draw the right conclusions and measures... stay tuned...
Sources and related links (last visit 19.1.2024):
University of California: Research Review Shows Self-Esteem Has Long-Term Benefits
Psychology Today: Does Money Increase Self-Esteem?
Trine University: The Relationship Between Self-Confidence and Performance
Dieter Henrich und die Heidelberger Schule: Selbstbewusstsein
Forschung & Lehre: Wenn Selbstzweifel überhandnehmen
Universität Halle-Wittenberg: Studie zum Hochstapler-Phänomen: Wenn Selbstzweifel überhandnehmen
Gitnux: Must-Know Self Confidence Statistics
Oberbergklinik: Wenn Selbstliebe schädlich wird
AOK Gesundheitsmagazin: Das Gefühl im Job aufzufliegen: Impostor-Syndrom
Forbes: 75% Of Women Executives Experience Imposter Syndrome In The Workplace
