Time

What was missing in the last blog were the resources needed to build genuine empathy and compassion. When you think of your resources, which come to mind first? Many immediately think of money or other material things they have earned. Of course, these are resources, but they are the result of your invested time and energy. This time, it's about our lifetime and energy and everything related to it. It's a thought experiment, so I'm mostly leaving out the "smart" recommendations :-)

Why do we always think of material things first when naming the things we own? In difficult times, that might be the only thing that counts to survive. But in today's world, this attitude only leads to more competitive thinking and dissatisfaction. We have also unlearned to appreciate the things that were given to us, just there, or seemingly in abundance. The idea that something is of less value if it wasn't hard-earned is deeply rooted in our minds.

It's also interesting how we evaluate interpersonal relationships. Haven't we all observed that the "good" ones are often labeled as "uninteresting" and "boring," while the "Bad Boys&Girls" are considered "exciting" and "interesting," who end up treating us poorly? Why is that? Is the "good" person uninteresting because they are just there and winning their affection requires no effort? And is the "bad" one only interesting because we have to invest energy and time to gain their attention? Hmm…

The only resources we truly possess, available from our birth until the end of our lives, are our lifetime and our energy. Both are always available at every second, yet we seldom reflect on this. We too often forget how valuable our energy and time are. From energy and time, everything can emerge. We start to appreciate the value when our time is nearing its end and often regret not having been more careful with it. But do we really have to wait until the end to recognize the value of our time and energy? How often has each of us looked back and wondered why we didn't do certain things in the past? Perhaps we would be further ahead in our lives, in our relationships, have learned new skills, or simply be more satisfied? Contemplating what we haven't done is just as pointless as not having done it in the past...it's a waste of time...

However, there are moments when inaction makes sense. These are the times when we reflect, take a step back, and try to look objectively at everything we are doing. Because often, we lose sight of the bigger picture and don't want to admit that we have strayed from our path. How else can we explain that individuals or groups, who initially had only the best intentions, end up doing the exact opposite over time and become radicalized? History and politics provide enough examples...

Instead of seeing time as a valuable resource from which we can create anything, we allow possible future events to stress us or past events to annoy us. When we take a step back and look at this fact objectively, it becomes clear: The events that cause us stress or anxiety are somewhere on the timelines, but not where we currently are. We often make life difficult for ourselves by letting things that have already passed or that lie in the future negatively affect us. The events which are bothering you right now are illusions and don't exist in the here and now.

Finally, some practical tips from Matze: Many of us learn to appreciate the value of something only when it's suddenly gone. This is an experience we all have to go through sooner or later when loved ones suddenly move away, stop getting in touch, or pass away. The pain becomes a wound that will eventually heal. But the depth of this wound depends on how much we regret not having spent more time with these people. This tip might sound a bit intense at first, but it also applies on a smaller scale: Move your ass and use your time and energy wisely. Learn the foreign language you've always wanted to learn, acquire the skills you've always wanted to master and be kind to the people you love. After a few years, you will look back and pat yourself on the shoulder... stay tuned...