Self-Determined

Motivation coaches often emphasize the importance of dreams and their visualization, but this is only part of the journey. Without transitioning from idea to action, dreams remain unfulfilled. Here, willpower plays a crucial role. Willpower is the foundation for decisive action and is comprised of four virtues: courage, perseverance, consistency, and discipline.

Courage: Courage is necessary to take risks and overcome fears. It requires bravery to tread new paths or dare a fresh start.

Perseverance: Perseverance is the ability to stay the course, even when obstacles and setbacks occur. It's about remaining persistent and finding alternative ways to reach your goals if necessary.

Consistency: Consistency means not diluting your own goals with compromises. This can involve making tough decisions and standing firm, even if it may displease others.

Discipline: Discipline is the art of self-control and can be trained. Practices such as fasting

A helpful method to assess your own success is to focus on three core criteria: joy, freedom, and growth.

Joy: Success means finding joy in your work. It's not just about material rewards like salary or responsibility, but about the pleasure you find in your activities.

Freedom: The freedom to make your own decisions and shape your life is closely linked to the feeling of joy. Success means having control over your own life and decisions.

Growth: Continuous development and progress are essential aspects of success. Stagnation is viewed as regression.

Communitytee has been online for almost two weeks now, and I am overwhelmed by the positive feedback and support through orders, especially from our loyal former Stoffbar customers. A big THANK YOU to all of you.

In my last blog, I dealt with the psychology of money. Today, I would like to discuss the topic of "self-determined life" as a thematic addition. Correspondingly, I recommend the book "Willpower" by Christian Bischoff.

It seems that our lives in Germany and in many parts of the West are subjected to a certain pattern: school, training, work, retirement, and then death. Breaking out of this cycle without falling out of society is a challenge. However, there is a middle way to make the best of this cycle without ending up on the fringes of society. The secret lies in living more self-determinedly, making one's own decisions, and challenging happiness.

In his book, Bischoff defines two types of people who shape our society: Those who live their lives by the principle of "duty by the book" because they are convinced it is the right way, and those who go their own way because they want to fulfill the expectations of others, like their parents. Living a self-determined life means questioning these attitudes towards life and defining how much of it comes from personal conviction and how much is trained and thus determined by others. Studies show that people who lead a self-determined life are happier than those who live a life determined by others.

To this end, there is a six-stage model by motivation researchers that describes the different levels of motivation:

Amotivation: The absence of any motivation or interest.

Extrinsic Motivation: Acting based on external expectations or a sense of duty.

Introjected Extrinsic Motivation: Adopting external beliefs as seemingly one's own convictions.

Identified Extrinsic Motivation: Recognizing the meaning in external goals that one follows willingly.

Integrated Extrinsic Motivation: Alignment of externally prescribed values with one's own beliefs, leading to meaningful and fulfilling actions.

Intrinsic Motivation: Acting out of pure passion and joy for the task.

Figuratively speaking: If your motivation level is at 1, you curse the alarm clock every morning. On the other hand, if you are at level 6, you can hardly wait to go to work or school.

To analyze why we are closer to motivation level 1 rather than level 6, self-analysis is necessary. It was a great challenge for me to question everything I do. Often there was no immediate answer. However, as described in the book, the necessary concentration and willpower can be trained, similar to a muscle. We must be aware that changes take time and that we can allow ourselves this time. It is crucial to reflect on your goals and ensure that they correspond to your own desires and values, rather than external expectations.

It is also important to regularly check whether you still find your work and hobbies meaningful. It is okay to change interests and goals over time, just as our sense of value can change. Once you have discovered through reflection and focus which goals give meaning to your life, willpower comes into play to realize these goals.

This was also the case when I realized that the Stoffbar, initially my big dream, had come to an end. It became increasingly difficult for me to go to my store. After twenty years with many ups and downs, I had to admit that my passion and motivation had changed. The Stoffbar, which had once taken up all my heart and energy, suddenly felt alien and burdensome. This process was not easy. It felt like I was leaving a part of my life behind. But at the same time, it became clear to me that stagnation is not success. My inner drive and intrinsic motivation were no longer connected to the Stoffbar. I had to accept that my interests and goals had evolved.

An often underestimated factor for a self-determined life is happiness. Happiness is more a matter of attitude and a conscious decision to be happy. Mindfulness and gratitude contribute to inner peace and satisfaction. In the end, it's up to us to allow or ignore negative emotions. A daily life example: In traffic, you might be honked at and insulted for no reason. You can choose whether to react or ignore it, because why should someone you'll probably never meet again spoil your day? My advice: Be selective. Ignore everything that causes negative emotions in you and allow what has a positive effect on you. No one but yourself decides what influences you!

Source: Willenskraft, Daniel Bischoff, Econ Verlag, ISBN 978-3430201025

If you're interested in the book "Willpower" by Daniel Bischoff and would like to support me, please click here on my affiliate link to order the book.